is this the sara with the beer cane?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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