Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
