How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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