i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
