Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
