She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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