it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
