Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
