I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
