Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
