I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize