Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
