Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
