You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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