i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
