God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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