I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
high people should be assigned attendants
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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