Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
no, he came in my armpit
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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