Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
