she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
