I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
