you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
