Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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