I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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