I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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