is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
