i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
