I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
