its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize