It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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