i would punch a child for taco bell
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
