We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
