im gay
i know
yea but for you.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
what is it with giant penises always finding me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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