Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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