i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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