so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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