i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
