the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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