First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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