did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize