should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
