Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
