i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
