It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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