Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize