Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
