we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
