What a fucking waste of an outfit
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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