dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
