I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
