Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
