I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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