Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
