Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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