Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
