dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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