i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
