Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize