why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
