R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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