Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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