did you get engaged???
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
