i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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